man there are a lot of lessons in life. sometimes i wonder what it’s all for. i just finished reading “the shack” and it’s opened my eyes to a different way of looking at life, its meaning, who’s watching out for us and whether or not we control our own destiny. i wonder what i’m supposed to be learning right now…why life is shaping up to be the way it is. so much has changed this year. and all for the positive. i can’t even begin to explain how completely loved and blessed i’ve been the past several months. and to top it all off, my mom has bought a home in denver and will one day be a permanent denver resident. i’ve only dreamed of this for the past five years! of course she teases me and says that now i can never leave. it’s funny, i never really thought about living anywhere else but denver. it’s been my home for the last nine years. and now my family will all be in one spot (more or less), but i can’t help but wonder if i really will be in denver for ever. people move all the time. there are so many beautiful parts of the country am i silly to limit myself to just one? so as my mind continues to wander off into a series of “what ifs” i need to remind myself that there’s no fear, no uncertainty, no worry if i just live in the present. “fear is only in the past and in the future” my mother recently told me. i think she’s right. i’m working really hard to do just that. you’d think it wouldn’t be so hard to just “be” but i think it’s something a lot of people struggle with. why? i wonder…and does living in the present mean that you shouldn’t dream about the future or reflect on the past? i suppose it doesn’t. at least i hope not because dreaming can be a lot of fun and is the inspiration for my vision boards.
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